What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!.Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!.The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there.She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's." "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife.What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive.Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra."I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.